If only my child came with a manual…
If I only knew what to do…
Why can’t I be as patient as the other moms?
No one understands what it’s like…
I feel invisible…
Wait, what the heck just happened??!!
Dear parent who is struggling, I see you.
I know how easy it is for you to ignore your own needs, how over time you can lose your spark and how eventually you can feel burnt out. I know some days you can barely make it through your day and you dread the next one. I know you love your children more than life itself,and they are the very best thing that ever happened to you! I know you can feel angry, sad, scared, anxious or happy - sometimes all at once. I know you are always doing the best you can. I get it! I’ve been there! And some days I find myself visiting that place again. But I also know that you have great strength and wisdom within you. With self compassion, you can make it easier on yourself.
I know you feel like you should be spending all your the time, effort and resources on your child right now. But by helping yourself, your children and family benefit too. How often have small hiccups turned into massive meltdowns because emotions ran high all around and everyone got sucked into the intensity of the moment? How often do patterns repeat themselves over and over because everyone has become programmed to react in a certain way? All it takes is one person to know how to pause, reflect and make a different choice; all it takes is one person to interrupt the pattern and break the cycle.
Sometimes that is all it takes. Other times, you have to get a better understanding of what makes your child tick and what shuts him down, how he processes information, what the most effective way to communicate with him is and how to coach him in his skills so he is less frustrated.
Whatever your unique situation and needs are, you want to be there for your family for the long haul, and that means taking good care of yourself and being happy and healthy. It is always better to put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting a child with his (Airline wisdom:-)
The bottom line is...don’t allow parenting your child to become a chore, drain your energy or turn into something you dread! Parenting is one of the most important and precious experiences in your life, and these days are never going to come back. We all want to do our best for our children, see them thrive and minimize their suffering. There is no magic wand for this stuff, but with a family coach by your side, the parenting experience can have fewer pitfalls and be smoother and more fulfilling. Even though it may not always seem like it, you have most of the know-how and answers in the quiet place within you; coaching helps to unlock this for you.